I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
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he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
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I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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