About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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