This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize