i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize