I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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