Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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