Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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