Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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