i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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