I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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