I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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