Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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