Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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