I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
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Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
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You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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