so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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