The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
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One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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