I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize