:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize