HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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