Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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