Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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