It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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