hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
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i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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