Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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