I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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