yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
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Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
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He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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