u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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