Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
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Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
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Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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