Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize