i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize