Having a random hookup so left but love u
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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