yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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