If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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