It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize