Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
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I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
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you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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