You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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