oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
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I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
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He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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