Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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