i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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