I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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