and i looked up. we had an audience...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
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Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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