You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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