imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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