Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
This baby is an asshole
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize