My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize