just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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