do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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