do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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