We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize