I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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